Signing A Love Contract

There has been a rising amounts of lawsuits claiming sexual harassment in the workplace. Most of the complaints are made by women who have been disappointed in a love affair began on working hours. Judges have been overly sympathetic to women employees and have awarded them a grand total of over one hundred million dollars between 2000—2006. This is in the United States alone. It is no wonder that many employers are asking women to sign a: “LOVE CONTRACT” before hiring them.

The love contract states:

1. As an employee of this firm you consent to be freely available to engage in sexual intercourse with any or all of your co-workers.

2. You have accepted the fact that all of the firm’s employees and owners are sexually oriented and will desire to have sex with you.

3. There will be no sexual intercourse on company grounds during working hours except by special permission of the management.

4. Refusal to have a sexual affair with any of the company employees is cause for dismissal.

5. There can be no complaint of sexual harassment once hired.

Signature:   -------------------------------------------------

This love contract has helped end the countless lawsuits against fellow co-workers and bosses. The firms that have had their employees sign the contract have found that they now have a better workforce Very few leave to seek other jobs. Despite occasional petting the work gets done. No longer does a guy have to be afraid of asking a lady in the next cubicle if she would like to sit on his lap. Ladies now happily take up the offer. Due to the clearly spelled out words in the love contract there are no prudes that spoil the fun. The boring office atmosphere has been transformed.  Sexy workers are hugging and smiling. Let’s call it one big happy workforce.

There have been numerous complaints against the love contract by primitive sexual types. They say that the sexually permissive work force brought on by the new hiring practices discriminates against them. That might be true but if they want the job badly enough they should turn their sexual inhibitions into more practical ones. It is important for all employees to be a part of a team. The only way that can truly happen is if workers open their hearts and arms to each other. The love contract is making it happen.

melpol